amthomas21

Bye NOLA

When someone dies in my life, I’ve gotten into the habit of writing them letters. It’s a way to keep the relationship going: to say my piece, to work out unfinished business, to keep them up on current events. The letter provides a type of closure for me and a type of opening. It’s anContinue reading “Bye NOLA”

Another Funeral: R.I.P. Uncle Mike

On Thursday, I will board a plane for the first time since the stay-at-home orders went into effect. What essential travel plans do I have, you ask? My Uncle Mike’s funeral is Friday at 2 p.m. in Virginia. This is the same uncle who I had just spoken with three weeks prior, who sounded happyContinue reading “Another Funeral: R.I.P. Uncle Mike”

George Floyd and What Funerals Taught Me About Race

I had been working on this post about my earliest lessons about grief for a week when George Floyd’s death happened. I needed to stop to attend to this new sorrow and its implications for George Floyd’s family, for the country, for the world, and for me personally. The more I attended to this newContinue reading “George Floyd and What Funerals Taught Me About Race”

Apprenticeship with Sorrow, Part 1: Grief, is Grief, is Grief

When I was in cosmetology school, I had an instructor that used to say, “hair, is hair, is hair.” He would repeat this as a mantra to demystify our fear of tackling a hair texture that wasn’t like our own. While it’s true that you can’t take the same approach to baby fine, stick straightContinue reading “Apprenticeship with Sorrow, Part 1: Grief, is Grief, is Grief”

Miscarriage and Mother’s Day

Picture: Celebrating the news that we would become a family of four in 9 months! On this Mother’s Day eve, this is a special shout out to all the mothers for whom miscarriage was part of their journey of motherhood. It was for my mom, it was for me, and turns out it was forContinue reading “Miscarriage and Mother’s Day”

A Confession

Since we’re going on a grief trip together, there is something you should know about me, dear reader: I used to be a hard-core evangelical. Don’t worry, I’m not one now and haven’t been for a long-time, but so much of my story is wrapped up in wrestling with faith and wrestling with God, thatContinue reading “A Confession”

Why I’m Here

I’m here because I’ve been on quite the grief journey over the past few years and I needed witnesses to the transformation that’s been happening deep in my soul. My dad died in his sleep in June of 2017, I had a miscarriage 5 months later, and then my mom died of cancer 3 monthsContinue reading “Why I’m Here”